Mitt victim of 'vast four-legged conspiracy,' terrier says

By: Daisy

My human friends tell me that when Newt Gingrich was the big dog in Washington, DC, in the mid-1990s, he and his Republicans hounded President Bill Clinton so much that an expression entered US politics: "A vast right-wing conspiracy."
Now another Republican, Mitt Romney, looks set to win a dogfight against Newt for the GOP nomination, and Mitt is facing overzealous attacks from what I call "a vast four-legged conspiracy."
On Tuesday, the Boston Herald reported on an Alabama man, Scott Crider, and his business, "Dogs Against Romney." Crider takes Mitt to task -- justifiably so, in my opinion -- for driving cross-country with his wife and five children in the family station wagon in 1983 ... with their Irish setter Seamus in a crate on top.
If you visit the "Dogs Against Romney" website, you can see that Crider has a bit of Mitt's business sense. He is marketing not only T-shirts and hoodies, but also ballcaps and buttons ... even doggie tees and bandanas. They come with slogans such as "Dogs Aren't Luggage" and "Never Forget Crate Gate." And part of the proceeds go to animal welfare groups, the site says.
The Herald describes Crider as "a political independent," but someone in the pack of Republicans must benefit from the attacks on Mitt, and I'd say that someone is Newt. Indeed, the Herald mentions a Newt attack ad that lists Mitt's howlers ... including defending driving with Seamus on the roof, and a rendition of "Who Let the Dogs Out?" (It reminded me of my own "I want to go out!" bark to my owners.)
Gingrich himself has a "Pets With Newt 2012" website, which lets supporters share pictures of their pets and themselves. But Newt comes across less like a pet person and more like someone who prefers seeing animals cooped up in cages. We learn that "(as) a teenager, Newt wanted to be either a zoo director or a vertebrate paleontologist," and we get a list of his top zoos (big surprise: they include the San Diego Zoo and Bronx Zoo). And the main photo on the web page is Newt not with a cute Westie like me ... not even with a cat ... but holding what looks like a pair of monkeys! Who has monkeys for pets???
I have criticized Mitt for his dog-on-the-roof decision -- it certainly showed poor judgment -- but I believe in second chances. (Good thing my owners do, too, after all the times I've wiggled off the same leash!) Crider's designs are cute, and Newt's schemes are creative, but I'm starting to feel some sympathy for Mitt. Why, Mitt even referred to himself as "a rodent and rabbit hunter." That warms my heart much more than any T-shirt ever could.

Daisy is a 9-year-old West Highland white terrier living in Cambridge, Mass. Her column appears weekly.